Underneath that instantly recognizable sampled guitar line and the catchy plink of the xylophone solo, “Somebody That I Used to Know” is an unlikely Billboard hit. It was written, recorded and produced by Wouter “Wally” De Backer, better known as “Gotye,” in a barn on his parents’ farm. It was originally released by an indie label in Australia, and when the track made its way to #1 on US charts last month, it was the first Australian recording to do so since Savage Garden’s “Truly, Madly, Deeply.”
Gotye has since sparked an international phenomenon— some may say surprisingly so, but it’s not too hard to tell what the draw is for many fans: If you’ve ever been in a breakup, you know exactly how it feels to be addicted to that certain kind of sadness. You complain about how “Somebody” plays on the radio every 9.3 seconds, but when you’re alone you blast that shit in the shower and cry along at the top of your lungs. Anyone and everyone can relate, as evidenced by your Facebook status newsfeed, your recommended videos on YouTube, and your most recent email from your ex.
Back in high school, I considered myself a breakup connoisseur of sorts. I’d been dumped, I’d done some dumping, I’d been Gotye, I’d been Kimbra, I’d been the bitchy girl you pictured before you got far enough along in the song to hear Kimbra’s side of the story. It’s been quite a while, but in celebration of a recent New Girl episode entitled “Backslide,” as well as Gotye’s unexpected Billboard victory over Bieber, Nicki Minaj and (no it can’t be true) Carly Rae Jepsen, let me dust off all the lessons I learned and drop some knowledge on you: It might just be better off this way.
Breakups are tough, don’t get me wrong. I’ve written enough angry-sad letters that I (thankfully) never sent to know it well. I considered all of my exes who dropped off the map to be big old deebags, then turned around and did the same thing to exes who tried to make contact. It’s a tough way to get over a bad break, but hypocrisy aside, I’ve seen the other side of it. And it’s not much prettier than that.
Backsliding is a very real thing, and rarely does it turn out well for either party. Though I’ve been spared the experience thusfar, I’ve watched other exes backslide right smack into each other and exchange a relationship’s worth in emotional abuse, only to part ways much more scarred than they were after the initial split. I’ve watched some people backslide more often than they play “Somebody That I Used to Know” on the radio these days. Honestly, it’s made me grateful to those exes who I’d believed had heartlessly made it like it never happened and that we were nothing. After a few select breakups, hearing from Mr. Wrong would have sent me backsliding so far that I’d have been severely bruised and broken. I might not even be in the happy and loving relationship I’m in today. Whatever their intentions, “bad exes” are giving you the best breakup gift possible: the opportunity to move on. And “closure?” You can find it yourself. If an ex pulls a Kimbra and you dwell on it for too long, you’re focusing on a door that’s been left a millimeter ajar, and denying yourself the opportunity to explore what lies behind the millions of doors that have just been unlocked: romantic and otherwise. The opening of one of those doors may just cause the right change in air pressure necessary to make that first door close of its own accord.
So have one last good cry, and then wipe the paint off your face and get on with your life already. On the upside, it doesn’t mean you have to take Gotye off loop… in all honesty, it’s a pretty damn good song.
